Present wave

All week, I heard on the radio how the weekend was supposed to be amazing weather. Then the weekend arrived and my little one got sick and it wasn’t as amazing as I had hoped it would be.  This has happened to me countless times, I look forward to something like crazy only to have that moment arrive and it be disappointing. 

I believe it’s my lesson in enjoying the present moment and to just be fluid like a wave.  What happened all week :I wasn’t enjoying the present moment, too preoccupied with what would be on the weekend and when something unfavourable happened, I couldn’t cope – I was no wave. I did however become anxiety filled, as I often do when the children are sick, and could only think that my son was going to get up again soon and be sick and that had me worried.  The truth is, after a few hours he eventually went back to sleep for the remainder of the night but I didn’t. I became full of worry and dread constantly thinking about what would happen in the future instead of living presently. 

My anxiety has improved dramatically over the years, but in these quick energy filled situations that require immediate action, it comes running back and I am filled with worry and dread.  One of the things that has helped me a lot was understanding that I am not in control of the situation, and should therefore just go with it like a wave in the ocean.  It is something that takes practice, and isn’t my default so sometimes in these scenarios it is where I go and that’s okay. With time and practice it does get easier. 

Living presently is that one thing that seems so simple, but that I have a hard time with.  My mind has been conditioned to look for the next thing, because that may have my happiness but I know my happiness is with me in this moment. I need to let go an trust the process, go with the flow and allow life to unfold beautifully.

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