I struggled again with resentment last night, but as I type this I know there was no real reason for the resentment. It was simply that I was tired and hungry and just needed some rest, in the morning I didn’t feel it. I think it’s important for me to realize what my body and soul needs and not to transform that into anger.
I think as parents we can really get caught up in the parent competition. One parent is doing something and the other one is doing something else but both need recognition and validation and both thinks their task is that much harder or more significant than the other. My husband and I do this all the time. Each one of us is searching for validation from the other instead of being happy with what we are doing. We are competing with one another and we are on the same team!
Last night I was tired, the kids were grumpy and it was making me grumpy and I had the evening shift on top of the day shift, which isn’t a big deal, it doesn’t happen all the time and it can be enjoyable if I allow it; but I did not allow it last night. Instead I was tired and started to list all the things I do for the family, these are my accomplishments, and I begged for a competition fuelled by anger – what is it that you do?
It ended in a big argument, as it had no where else to go.
Both my husband and I do thousands of things for the family that go unaccounted or unnoticed and I need to stop counting those things, we both do. These things are being poured into a family that is a common ground, we are all working towards the same goal, I just do these things and you do those. We compliment each other and that is the goal, complimenting and not competing. Once and a while it’s nice to hear a thank you or an I appreciate you, that’s a loving gesture but know that it’s not necessity so long as we are working together in love.
Together we created this family and together we work making it whole, there’s no room in this family for competition when it is rooted in a deep foundation of love.