Manifesting drama

Another virus as landed in our household and I am not terribly welcoming of it as I feel we have been plagued with all kinds of sickness this fall, winter and now spring.  I can’t remember a time when we were all well, it’s been a while.

This time though I feel like I manifested it and I think that’s partly true.  Hubby was away for most of this week and as he was leaving I had a bit of anxiety over what if we get sick.  What if I can’t take care of the children on my own.  I often think this, having little confidence in my abilities isjust another way I am not believing or loving myself. It’s kind of a nightmare of mine for me to have everyone sick and be all by myself trying to deal with it.  

Hubby can be a lot more rational and calm than me, he said if it’s too bad he can always come home, he’ll make it work; but warned about thinking that way because I will believe that to be true and I can create it.  

Sure enough, before he left I worried,  mainly about myself, what if I am not up to speed – what if I am sick?  Yesterday my son got a fever and I got about three hours of sleep last night tending to him as he was sick to his stomach.  Fear got me here and now I am living here.

I often think that I attract this kind of drama but now I am thinking I create it.  I fear it and it consumes me and it’s all I can think about and then before I know it there it is. This has happened to me countless times.  In my head I know that there is little I can do to control the situation,  in fact I can’t do anything so I should just let go and see what happens.

We were supposed to visit my sister this weekend but now I am not entirely sure.  If my son feels better maybe the other will have it; but that’s me worrying about it and manifesting it to be true.  These situations keep happening to me to show me to let go, ask for help, release and trust that whatever happens is meant to happen.  Release and trust.  So I have two options right now worry that we won’t be able to visit my sister right now or release and trust we will see her when we are meant to. 

A while back I thought I was looking forward too much to these situations but now I realize that I am creating ideas about what if we can’t go or if it fails.   I need to forget everything coming up in the future, take life one day at a time and trust.

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