Lately I have been seeing a common pattern with myself – waiting for my white night to save me. It is appearing in different ways and the most common one has been excessive laziness on my part. I have wanted to just take the shortcuts always buying my way to the end result. Why make muffins when I can buy them. Someone else can save me from this task.
I’m missing the point, there is love and fun in making them things. I am getting caught up in the end result instead of enjoy the task at hand.
Money can be a sore spot with me and in reality we have it in abundance but I always want more. If I had more of it I can do this, if I had more I could get that but those things would only stay good for a while until then I would want something else.
Even with doing tasks around the yard, I am focusing on having them done dreaming of a way for someone to come do it for me so that it’s all complete. I am focusing on the completed take instead of doing the task, enjoying the task. I am not in short of things to work on at the house and they don’t even require money if I think creatively.
I think I have disconnected from myself because I have taken away my creativity through all these means. I am not creatively making things I am buying them, I am not coming up with creative budgets and activities for my finances and I am not thinking creatively in terms of projects around the house.
I am a creative person and by stifling my creativity it disconnects me from myself and leads me to a spot of unhappy laziness. Creativity can flow in many different ways, not simply making a craft but it can be something as I mentioned like creatively figuring out a budgeting solution. Creativity is who I am and I need to allow myself to shine through.
I have just figured out something I am missing a lot in my life, my creativity.