In the past to be a healthy and fit person it required extreme discipline, it was all I knew, I couldn’t do moderation – it was all or nothing. I was not happy living an incredibly disciplined life because it was fuelled with hate for myself. On the contrast I wasn’t happy leading a life that had no self control, it was also fuelled for hate for myself.
I am at a point in my life where I am quite happy and I am learning to find the joy in all that I do. I would like my daily habits to reflect a happy joyful and gentle moderation of life instead of going from one extreme to another.
Right now I am being a little hard on myself, many celebrations and backyard bbq’s have lead to an overindulgence on my part and it seems like I have been stuck in that mode for a while. I am in a spot of self hatred today which has lead to a major overindulgence and I truly wish for this behaviour to stop.
I think that sums up my whole life: one extreme or the other, never gentle moderation. It’s not just food or fitness that falls into this ideal, my moods often follow a similar path: one extreme to another (I am super cranky or extremely nice). What I would like to do is start practicing moderation in everything I do and being very gentle with myself in it.
As I continue a more equal balanced pace I need to remind myself to keep it more even levelled. Bouncing from high to low to high, in everything that I do leaves me vibrating in a way that is impossible to maintain and usually ends with me falling on my face, like today.
Today I strive for balance in moderation. Moving forward my intention is an even levelled moderation, balance in every aspect of my life. One day at a time ❤️