Stand true

I am not a big believer in burning bridges completely. I am a big believer in leaving situations or people that are toxic and sometimes that means burning down that bridge completely, understandable ; but often there is a little path or connection to a person or place that remains. 

Over time I have learned that though some people or some places just don’t work for me, and though it’s a toxic environment for me and I would rather be removed from it, not every single aspect is toxic and I can, and have, learned to forgive. Through this forgiveness I can foster compassion and love for another human being who I may have considered toxic before. I suppose it’s a fine balance between showing everyone compassion and love and being aware of toxic behaviour and letting that toxicity belong to them. It’s a fine balance of loving everyone and speaking your truth while standing firm in your you.

But it’s not always easy. 

It can be really hard to forgive and I don’t think any of us are capable to do so until we are ready and to be ready can take time.

I can think of many examples, some relationships with friends, the environment where I used to work, these are examples of times I have come to the conclusion where it is too toxic for me and I must remove them in their entirety.  They never stay removed completely for long.   I continued to see that one friend who I tried to run away from at all sorts of community events, and  that one friend from work continues to try to have me meet her for lunch around where the old office was – they are still in contact, they still connect…why?

I am sure there are a thousand reasons why that happens, one of which is me running from the problem instead of choosing to stand firm in my truth with love.  It’s sort of my nature to run when things get difficult. It was me as a child, me my whole life but it’s like the whole universe is conspiring to say “stop running, be you and let the chips fall where they may”.   

Another trap I fall into with these scenarios is comparing. The real truth is I am absolutely happy where I am in my own life and the things I do in my life bring me and only me joy. All I have is my own life, I am to live it just for me.  If I can stand strong in that happiness it doesn’t matter if there is lure to their ways, I should be happy and confident in my own.

I don’t want the same relationships I had before, I can’t because I am not the same person I was before.  I think if I am truly happy and confident standing in my own truth then that toxicity shouldn’t penetrate me, because it belongs to someone else. As long as I am aware and true to myself I can continue down my own path with love,regardless of what anyone else thinks. 

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