A better balance

I am sitting here in the dark in my living room writing from my phone, I often do that as it can be a challenge to get me to sit at an actual computer.  I feel a really nice sense of peace as my salt lamp is filling the room with a gentle orange glow. I feel really happy this week. I have been meditating regularly, been eating well and moving my body.  Even last night when my little mans cough got him up I wasn’t angry like I have been in the past.

But…

And yes there is a but…

Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday and we will be celebrating Friday night and Saturday night and I know tomorrow will be filled with pizza and drinks and cake. I am afraid I will fall into bad habits and eat and drink myself into a version of myself that doesn’t provide me with a gentle glow.  Sure, I could eat broccoli and sit in the corner and be even more miserable, so I probably won’t.

This is an opportunity to practice a better balance. Maybe I’ll have salad with my pizza, maybe I’ll have a small piece of cake, maybe I’ll just enjoy one drink, maybe I’ll enjoy just a little instead of going down the rabbit hole. If cranky thoughts come up, I can let them pass. A little indulgence from time to time is a good thing.

I have never really been one for moderation, it’s all one way or another and I don’t like being that way : it will take me some time to get used to the idea that a little bit here or there won’t hurt.  My New Years resolution of “just a little bit of effort” will help me to refocus.  Maybe my meditation won’t be at the exact same time, or my diet be exactly the way I want it, but I can flow with where it takes me and then put a little bit of effort to pull myself back on this path ; maybe I won’t even fall off my path much, or at all.  With a better balance I can flow and relax into life and let go of the worry for the future, in fact I won’t even think of it and will try to just take it one moment at a time.

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