Acceptance

Can you accept yourself as you are in this exact moment?

I struggle with that terribly – I often can’t accept myself as I am in any moment.  I can always find faults with myself be that how I look, what I do, where I am, I can always find something I don’t like and can’t accept. Even in my meditation practice this morning thoughts will come in my mind and I’ll be disappointed in myself instead of just recognizing it and gently refocusing. I’ll pass by a mirror and look at a spot on myself and think maybe if I work harder I can eliminate that.

I can’t seem to accept who I am with love at this moment, I can’t seem to love myself as I am right now.  Life has trained me to be so critical of myself, it’s a hard thing to break.  The danger of not being able to accept myself is I am always working towards making myself “better” – I use quotes here because there it is never an end result. Take body image for an example, as hard as I once worked, and as in shape as I once was it was, it was never good enough : I could still be thinner or have more muscles, I could always find something wrong. The body I had six years ago was a body I wish for today.  So that leads me to think the body I have today could be the same, it could be something I wish for in the future so why not love it now.

Practicing present moment acceptance can be a bit difficult, especially if you’re like me and have had years of conditioning to look in the mirror and find a fault.  It can be difficult to retrain your brain not to see the faults and just to love everything you see in the mirror as you pass it.  I know one of the exercises I need to start doing again is to pass by a mirror and love and accept myself as I am in that very moment.  It’s a little challenging at first and at the start it will feel almost like I am lying when I tell myself that I love and accept myself but I will keep practicing that and overtime I will come to truly feel that unconditional love and acceptance for myself, in this present moment. 

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