I have a wide range of different relationships but I struggle with a lot of them as sometimes things are said that I simply can’t let go. The reason that bothers me so much is that I do have relationships where people are able to say pretty much anything and I am able to let it roll off my shoulder. I suppose I get frustrated because I am capable of letting things go and I know when I do that I feel a lot more free. This morning my attempt is to gain understanding of why certain people in my life I am able to let things go a lot easier than others in my life.
The people in my life who I am able to let go of what they say even at times it could be hurtful but I am able to do so because I feel their intention of love. I know that even though they may say something unpleasant they are coming from a place of love and they have nothing but love for me so I am able to let the words hang there that don’t serve me and take what does.
But I can’t seem to do this with everyone.
The way I see it is that I know these people care for me so I am so much more understanding but maybe it is that I care so much more for these people so I am able to allow things to roll off me with ease. You would think if I didn’t care for someone as much it would be easier to let things roll off me but for reasons I am not entirely sure, it’s not. Maybe it’s that I want a connection from everyone that way and when I can’t seem to break through I get frustrated and fill with hate for that person. I know I can’t have the same kind of relationship with everyone and I struggle with that because I wish all my relationships were so full of love that I can allow everything to roll off of me.
I think for the most part those who do not serve me I do not see as often but there is interaction occasionally and that occasional interaction can frustrate me and leave me in a circle of hate for that relationship long after interaction has taken place. This is the type of relationship that frustrates me as I cannot let go and see how to interact occasionally with someone who isn’t full with love, and the key is, I wish they were. Maybe I am not accepting this person as they are, I know and can feel they aren’t love but I wish them to be : so time and time again I am left with hurt after our interaction.
Though I have no definitive solution I do see that my projected expectation is a part of my problem and acceptance for the situation is also something to be said. Step by step.