I am safe

When the results came back from my doctors about all my stomach issues it turned out that nothing was truly wrong and that my mind was associating pain with a certain food that had caused me pain in the past when I went through treatments for h.pylori.  Some of the most comforting words a doctor has ever said to me were: it cannot hurt you. That brought me comfort for a while but every now and then (like right now) I have had some stomach discomforts and though I know I am safe and it cannot hurt me I am not believing it.

Now I have had some issues with some spiritual energies in my home, my natural reaction was fear – this will hurt me but like my stomach it will not hurt me.  Only I can do that.

There is a message being sent to me letting me know a lot of the things that I let torture myself cannot hurt me, I am safe. If these things cannot hurt me so why do they appear to be coming up again and again?

To teach me a lesson.

To help me connect to sides I fear, but sides of me that need connection.  I fear the spiritual world sometimes, I fear death and the unknown and it causes me a great deal of discomfort. 

Same with my stomach, I know my stomach is a barometer for stress and things in my life, but I don’t want to connect to it because that takes me to a deep spiritual place where I am not knowledgable. I don’t understand it and if I try to this leads me to a world where I have no knowledge or control .

You fear what you don’t understand. It scares me to blindly believe and accept. I thought I had dealt with my fear but I had only buried it because to confront my fears head on is just too terrifying.   This is why my evolution is stuck: not from fear that I will change, maybe that is a part of it but the bigger part is a fear of the unknowing, a fear of lack of control, I still to this day fear trust – real trust, that whole heartedly belief in trust. I fear it because I don’t understand it, I fear it because I won’t trust.

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